Help Us Solve the Cruel Mystery

This Lupus Awareness Month, join the Lupus Foundation of America in efforts to solve to the cruel mystery.

10 THINGS TO HELP

Featured Article: Summer 2010 issue of Lupus Now

10 Things You Can Control in a Conflict
By Vivian Scott

Dealing with conflict takes energy, and when you’re living with lupus, energy can be in short supply. If you’ve tried your best to resolve a problem, but it still remains, consider using these 10 ways to regain control.

1. Your Plan - Visualizing the future helps you focus beyond temporary problems.
   
2. Your Perspective - Stop and reassess your point of view and find a learning opportunity in the situation.
   
3. Your Responses - Look for ways to respond that don’t escalate anxiety.
   
4. Your Investment - Spend less time thinking about it, talking about it, and engaging in it.
   
5. Your Role - It takes two to tango, and if you stop dancing, the conflict has no choice but to diminish.
   
6. Your Expectations - Changing expectations doesn’t mean lowering them. Stop holding others to standards they don’t know they’re being measured against, and get a new yardstick!
   
7. Your Energy - Direct your energy elsewhere: toward family, classes at the gym, continuing education, or friends.
   
8. Your Own Story - Give accounts without elevating or victimizing anyone. Say, “It’s a difficult time right now, but I am learning a valuable lesson,” rather than, “Once again, I am the victim.”
   
9. Your Method for Processing Emotions - Talk with a trusted source, keep a journal, get some exercise, or write letters you’ll never send.
   
10. Your Character - Show your best side and not an unchecked series of poor reactions.

Vivian Scott is the author of Conflict Resolution at Work for Dummies. Both she and her daughter, Vanessa, have lupus and were featured in the Summer 2009 issue of Lupus Now in the article “What’s in Your Family Tree?”

COMPLEMENTS LOW

My husband is funny he tells the doctor when the doc says my complements are low " I don't understand I complement her all the time". Funny man I do love him and thank god for him every day cause he is a big help to me. He helps cook clean and even grocery shops. Not only that but works part time and I say part time cause he too is disabled. So he is always in pain he has degenerated disc disease so you could imagine the pain. Anyway when my complements are low that means my lupus is flaring so this past month that's what happened and that's why I've been so extremely tired. So he raised my steroids. Amazing how much it helps I definitely don't feel as bad as I did, but each day has its own ups and downs depending on what I do.

   even though I have been going through this low I have awesome news I am a grandma again for the fifth time A GIRL 8 POUNDS 8 OZ HER NAME IS MALIA SKYE